Working Too Soon, Exit Too Early

I tuoched ES, stopped out, then focus on Crude Oil. Thought it was a chopped day and actually trendy day. All tickers worked out great and I was left in dust. Patients, patients, patients, patients.

This week was a whole mess for me. My setup busted out, unfortunate error, crazy impulsive trade, Loosening Stop Loss, Swing trading Micro Lot, Averaging Down recklessly. All sins I made and not once worked out. When I got out too early, the moved were stellar. When I stayed in my trade, I got stopped out, all of them. When I decided to go on, market chopped like crazy. When I decided to leave, market trending amazingly. All things went bad. Yesterday when I entered soybean/wheat, it didn't move at all. Today I was slipped out 2 ticks at SL, kept me away. It is actually trending after a while. Worse, I neglected $500 max from Crude Oil, TWICE!!! First it's too fast after NFP, 2nd, I wanted more. Both of them just $100 each.

The only things I done right today was not trading the London Session.

Perceptions on me just got worse over time. Chopped out Crude Oil early days made me think today was a bad oil day. Thought ES would be bad again, stopped out twice before it moved, without me.

But actually today I was trading by planned. No single impulse trade, even once. So I just considered it not my day, not my week.

Lsoing 3 days in a row surely a pain. I wanna scream like, wtf am I doin? Workin and wasting money? Working should means make money. I worked so hard for this profesion. Once I developed an iron-will Stop Losses. I was more prone Cutting Losses than Profit Taking. Can't sleep last three days. Feels like worthless junk. Working for losing money. Three Years Trading and I can't even predict where the price moved. I just taking every single entry. First I would short, next trade I may go long.

Crude Oil for example. It's like all the world fighting against me. long, stopped...short, stopped again...short moved 50cents, stopped out 10 cents, profit stopped out twice, minus 40 cents..par, another 10 cent stopped. Moved 50 cent, stopped out at 10 cent profit. Every trade was valid trade. Then after I stopped after last stopped out, market moved.. and I wasn't in it.

ZS, long...stopped with 2 ticks slippage. Nomore trade, moved 10 cents more.

ES, short, stopped out 3 ticks...long, stopped out par. focused on CL, moved 8pts :(

Currency used to be my favorite, now..it's like scary beast to me. I may count at London Session stopped me out 4 times in a row!!! While the 5th entry only gave 20 ticks before it went back stoppe out on par. And it's 2 days like these.

BUt with all whinning and complaint today, I just sayin I still want to trade. Hell even if I had 100grand, I still want to trade. I just keep trading until my account can't afford to trade again. If, I was discipline, it took me 10 days max losses in a row until I exhaust my account. Today's not my max losses.

Also one thing I truly regret was, actually market moved very nice (except for ES and I can live with that).
Crude Oil, 4 out of 5 days and actually it told you no trade at the one bad day
Soybean, 4 out of 5 days and I just trade the one bad day
Wheat, same as soybean, or can say 5 out of 5
EUR, dunno..heavily news driven. Can chop all day and trending all day
GBP, confused
TF, 3 out of 5...still no interest

With all this ticker and I still got big losses. Even I still booked profit perfect on Christmas weeks. Actually with this kind of market, no way I can't ptofit. My subconscious mind always whispered me to impulsive trade. Like this afternoon I almost did it again. Almost....it's like I had split personality.

I was a counter-trend / fader blood. I never convenient entering market which isalready moved too far. Always afraid my SL easily breached.

But if First Week like MOnday repeat every single week for the rest of this year, no need a crazy market. I surely just trade Crude Oil and Booked $2500-$5000 per month per contract. No need other trades.

Next week will be I dunno...losing faith with currency and befriended again with Crude Oil. Oh, and one more things... I WILL DO WHATEVER POSSIBLE NOT ATTEMPTING TO PICKUP BOTTOM/TOP AGAIN, EVER AGAIN.