Okay, forget about my crazy previous post. This is how I feel for today's trade. I do it for my emotional journal also.
1. I am scared. I am afraid having losses again and again.
2. I am desperate. I am afraid tomorrow I will take profit early again because of No.1 reason.
3. My self-confidence and self-esteem below zero now. I can't trust myself anymore.
4. I feel like, what the hell am I doing? I just worked hard just to lose money. Gradually I will bankrupt myself to death.
5. Of Course I am under pressure to make money. Who doesn't?
And another thing that pissed me of that, actually I can recover my losses if after last stopped out I made one last trade.
There's short signal @ 104.96 which dived to 104.07. That's $890 swing.
Very achievable if I got $100 to $200 nett profit today. Instead I just quit trading because of my stupid rules and my faked anchor bar (the last one make me no trade at all which is much better thing than losing).
The very next day when I violate the rule, I will be crushed to pieces.
I know I should be ready to lose everytime I trade. But the pressure to make money's so big. And oddly enough with all these pressure and high level stress, I can execute my plan flawlessly. But no worth since it's a loser.
Am I should be compliment or be cursed with my action today? Discipline with negative result.
Next day Strategy:
1. Still $500 Daily Loss Limit.
2. Change the 40ticks --> 100ticks for entry. Fewer signal and more reliable.
3. Anchor Bar.
4. No Trade Whipsawed.
1. I am scared. I am afraid having losses again and again.
2. I am desperate. I am afraid tomorrow I will take profit early again because of No.1 reason.
3. My self-confidence and self-esteem below zero now. I can't trust myself anymore.
4. I feel like, what the hell am I doing? I just worked hard just to lose money. Gradually I will bankrupt myself to death.
5. Of Course I am under pressure to make money. Who doesn't?
And another thing that pissed me of that, actually I can recover my losses if after last stopped out I made one last trade.
There's short signal @ 104.96 which dived to 104.07. That's $890 swing.
Very achievable if I got $100 to $200 nett profit today. Instead I just quit trading because of my stupid rules and my faked anchor bar (the last one make me no trade at all which is much better thing than losing).
The very next day when I violate the rule, I will be crushed to pieces.
I know I should be ready to lose everytime I trade. But the pressure to make money's so big. And oddly enough with all these pressure and high level stress, I can execute my plan flawlessly. But no worth since it's a loser.
Am I should be compliment or be cursed with my action today? Discipline with negative result.
Next day Strategy:
1. Still $500 Daily Loss Limit.
2. Change the 40ticks --> 100ticks for entry. Fewer signal and more reliable.
3. Anchor Bar.
4. No Trade Whipsawed.
Hi De'Trader,
ReplyDeleteis that a genuine question? It seems to me that all the answers you've been looking for were given to you in the past few days. I don't want to be harsh, but if you asked a question, you have to be ready to be receptive and open-minded about the responses. They are all wise words, and all well-intended.
Thanks Jules,
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think?
I am sorry I am very emotional last few days. And how can you keep doing good after the big losses you made? Me? Since Oct 2010 my trading performance fell like a brick.
De'Trader, Jules offers some constructive criticism and you take a shot at her? You need to swallow a humble pill before making progress. I did, and all the traders I know doing well did also.
ReplyDeleteSorry Gump,
ReplyDeleteDidn't mean to shot. Just amazed to her. If I were her, I'll be dead right now.
you seem so brutally honest in describing your feeling so I assume you are looking for some brutally honest feedback? If not just ignore the rest.
ReplyDelete1) you cut off the time frame so I can't give you an objective feedback since I have no idea what time frame you are operating on.
2) it seems you mark your 'anchor' bars on a history(stale) chart and trade your trades based on what you see on a stale chart a) a bar moves up and down in real time you really have no idea whether it will be an 'anchor' bar or not b) by the time it is viewed as an 'anchor' bar there might be several bars already passing by.
3) what happen to this vol spike indicator? it seems you have a total diff indicator with the same name http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-U9QFIXq1IAU/TXCqj5Hj_EI/AAAAAAAABDU/L-rF4bBniHQ/s1600/vol.png
4) so today you find there is a fake anchor bar maybe you find some other kind of anchor bar tomorrow too. Lets hope your money not running out before you find all of them.
Thanks for writing.
Thanks cory,
ReplyDeleteBrutally honest and I liked it.
1. I used 40 ticks chart for entry. I'll changed it to 100ticks tomorrow since too much noise.
2. Anchor Bar actually just for my brain needs to find reason. I have tendency to flipping position like crazy especially on chopped market. With this anchor bar, at least I'll stopped out half the time only. Somebody may not suits with the anchor bar. It's volume indicator.
3. I called it volume momentum. I am not using that chart anymore, too many turnover. That's tick chart. Today I just found one anchor bar..Faked one at inventory report.
4. It's not that faked actually. I stopped before it working out. Too many stop loss due to 40ticks chart. If i used 100tick chart today, the result will be much better. Cross my finger for the anchor bar.
You seemed not really like my anchor bar. That's okay, I used it for personal use to prevent me from doing destructive dozens of entry. Today it actually prevent me from making money. My mind needs reason, logical reason why not took every signal. The anchor bar did. Reducing my trades.
First the big killer is your emotion, that is a fact!
ReplyDeleteI can't come here and say to you that everything going to be ok, because is not.
When I started I had big difficult to deal with losses, now that I'm confident on my strategy and on my stop loss ... I'm ok.
Of course, nobody like to lose, but losses happen, and like some traders say: To trade you first need to learn how to lose, win is a consequence.
Some people don't have the nerves to be a trade, I met a guy that he said that he couldn't deal with the fact of trade, the stress, so he decide to pay for people to manage his accounts.
You really need to think if that is for you or not.
I know that is hard I say like that, but is true, I would like to be a doctor, but want to be is a thing, and really be is another.
;)
p.s. If you need any help / advice about stop loss I have a post about, or you can contact me that maybe I can give you some ideas.
De'Trader,
ReplyDeleteI know how you've been feeling, which does not equate to being able to feel what you're feeling.
We are different people - we have different life experiences, are raised differently, have different friends, watch different movies, read different books, go to different schools,etc - which I believe collectively shape us into who we are today, help us create most of the circumstances we find ourselves in, frame our expectations towards the world and ourselves, and determine what excites and motivates us.
A very straightforward answer to your question would be this: before I do anything, even something as casual as having coffee with an acquaintance, I must know this : "what is the point?" If I decide to step out to meet my friends, the point is to maintain the bond that I actually cherish, and most times it's because a friend needs listening ears and that's a good enough reason for me to get out of my cave.
In all the trades I've taken, even the most rotten ones, they must provide some benefits - monetary benefits are always preferred but I actually most value the ones that teach me something about the market and about ME that I didn't already know before. Whenever I catch myself taking trades just to "get even", I would stop, coz it's pointless to want to get even with the market since it's not going to cry if I take back some or all of my money.
I know next to nothing about your private life, so I'm not going to assume there's nothing else in your life that makes it worth living. I have a few things in my life that are way more important to me than trading, and whenever I take a hit in trading, I compare the feeling to that of losing one of these things, and immediately (ok, maybe after 24 hours), I don't feel so bad anymore.
So perhaps the one thing you can do for yourself now is really to find something else that's as stimulating as trading - it can be the picking up of a new language/ a new sports, the brainstorming of ideas for a service/product to sell and the conducting of a thorough research on its marketability, joining/ finding/ supporting a cause, exploring part time/contract/ full time jobs in a different industry, learning a brand new skill, anything that EXCITES you that is good for your mind, your body and preferably your wallet.
You can't make trading your life. Whatever that you make from trading is supposed to support a lifestyle that you desire and I'm sure it's not along the line of sitting in front of your screen all day chasing prices all over the chart.
You have to look within and ask yourself what is it that you're actually after, and how much of it do you want, and if it can be acquired via other means.
Here's the harsh truth: no one will care for your drama forever (not even if you were to lose all your trading capital), probably not even for a month, coz everyone has his/her own problems and priorities, and when that day comes, what else will you have at your disposal to feed your need for attention? There is nothing wrong with wanting attention - but the healthiest way to get it is by offering yours to others (family, friends, strangers, dogs, cats, etc), and in the process you'll forget you even needed it in the first place. Do something for nothing (which is different from doing something that is pointless). Life is not just about making practical transactions. You really have to figure out what makes you feel ALIVE. Maybe it isn't about making lots of money to show your ex colleagues that you've won and that they've been fools?
I'm glad to see that you have your emotions in front of you this time. That's progress even if there is no light around right now. I guess you realize that doing anything with "bad" emotions will result in bad outcome. So you are losing not because of your anchor bars but because you are emotionally programmed with "bad" emotions to do wrong stuff. Think about what if it's not that losses gives you bad emotions, but bad emotions bring losses into your life. It's not just me speaking what comes to my mind but Mark Douglas explain that stuff in his books. (search for "Disciplined trader" on filestube to take a peak before you buy it I'm sure that you will find it. )
ReplyDeleteI'm not in some positive talk approach, just hypnotizing yourself with positive affirmations to deal with emotions. It's not a solution. But you need to deal with your emotions you can see it for yourself already. Probably the best for you would be to take a break from trading, but you don't seem that you will do that so far. So, second best would now be to take piece of paper and start writing your emotions one after another just like you did in beginning of this post.
Don't do it in a way to simply acknowledge it, but do it like you are cleaning garbage. Write it again and again, whatever is your emotional state in that moment regarding trading. It can reiterate, don't worry just write them down and feel them. Don't get attached to good ones if they pop. Just empty it all out. It could take hour and a whole notebook.
Do it as many times as you need. It's simple exercise of just letting all out that's locked inside and now is boiling and making shit of your trading.
You simply need to find peace and calm inside of you to find new good will for trading. First step is emptying this emotional storm.
I strongly suggest that you read some trading psychology books so you can throw your mind around those problems and find out solutions for yourself. Judging how motivated you are for finding new systems this will be no problem for you.
for tick chart take a look at 777 tick chart
ReplyDeletehttp://screencast.com/t/DHyvNtICpmQ